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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"
+ s: ]8 n8 V$ r* ]% }( q* F oFrom the female side.
9 D. ~) u s% s5 b! {Now here are the rules from the male side.6 O5 W' C. i% m6 d5 N
These are our rules!& E, }+ T, ~. n+ i2 \ c) T
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
8 ?% k0 H9 ^1 [* iON PURPOSE!+ j/ `* p/ N6 m. `2 X& l3 e
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat.% I$ G$ {9 E7 ^+ `9 |" }7 @
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
. L. _5 F$ k& @& g7 |6 a, i: q+ YWe need it up, you need it down.
& K% r0 U( C0 U. ?You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.* O6 S' b- g# Y8 O
# P& q5 O2 d) R3 X0 p0 {9 f3 K1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
$ V+ ^5 u! w: `' bor the changing of the tides.
k, ?8 r3 t" \9 d4 f# g- ^Let it be.' w/ O/ _3 p. i$ B
& m* c$ }4 |- m. D4 |2 E# a. ]7 w1. Shopping is NOT a sport.6 ~$ f& a1 J2 o8 b
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
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1. Crying is blackmail.* V6 ^5 f* H S1 B7 v
6 d' R2 E& w' w, O p, x$ n) \1. Ask for what you want.- x- u0 x/ S: B
Let us be clear on this one:
6 p. c7 l) s& V9 _Subtle hints do not work!
& ^" P$ G: _7 oStrong hints do not work!
2 C, H3 W3 a6 o2 ?& l7 AObvious hints do not work!2 ~4 b5 @" X) o2 {
Just say it!
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% ^% D" X$ o D' l% g% |1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question./ h- R9 J; U9 k! I, R+ S* P" D
( R1 N3 X7 R2 T1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
) _5 _$ s" d3 B @& BSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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* i f& x; s) P4 T: G' Y) \1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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/ P" l7 u$ l8 [. q; N1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.4 T) y# ]0 t8 S" B+ U
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days., C3 q! q0 e5 X) G/ X! q
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
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$ L* p5 u9 Z9 E3 j$ ]7 K1 R+ H8 l1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.. ]0 P O9 r: o1 M1 s! g# d
Don't ask us.
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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: m4 z5 o! s4 d$ s1. You can either ask us to do something9 v- N, N) w. v
Or tell us how you want it done.: [. d1 P: ]1 j" v! X
Not both.. f e( U2 T' t4 ^6 _3 x
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.. z" b) j' M$ i( \" r
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.# ]) T/ L$ x# F/ U$ T
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.4 V k( p' j+ m2 l6 A. O7 n
! r" z8 |8 H3 a7 T1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
) I. C1 i6 ~/ O9 jPeach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.6 k( c! Y: B# }% q1 c
7 I! O, Q6 B# `3 ]4 I' i1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.1 g' h" f# {3 W! J: r( k
We do that.# z8 v- Z8 u6 j8 O' Q7 Z+ k
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
* T9 a5 Z- j. n7 N0 p) @We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.' `; n% F" } c: P. \
+ B; r! j' m5 m2 b5 S5 s; w! Q1 M1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
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, G7 H, N, X0 k% C9 ]3 U$ u1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,' X ~% C4 Y9 L- _! C
or golf.# t, a; i2 {# a$ p% z
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1. You have enough clothes.
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8 ~2 @* @' t2 h6 Q1. You have too many shoes.4 g. n: W: _8 e% x+ s7 x9 l' O+ ?
( c" I; O* [( a J1 M% C1 Y- u7 A1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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, H, z s$ n- E3 Q, G2 n1. Thank you for reading this.
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But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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